The only romance I can afford right now is the one with books

     A long title...well, formerly it was supposed to be titled "what happens when the person you once liked/loved starts following your blog?" Today I was passing time on orkut and entered a forum titled "[official] romance thread". The reply I posted was exactly same as the title of this post. Life has it's own plans of guiding you in a particular direction (not always right though, it actually depends on how you react). I was going to wait for the exams to get over until I started typing this post. I have got to thank someone for making me cancel that plan. Rest of the things to be discussed at the end of this post.




A New Theory
    (link to the old ones here)
         This is one of my own (unless someone already stated it and I didn't know about that). I believe that people lead their life in phases. As one phase ends, another begins. The most commonly know phases are childhood, adolescence, adulthood and then the phase of the aged. But there are still many phases within these primary phases, phases within those phases too and so on. Before I could conclude that it's all normal and everything goes as it should be, I experienced another side of this theory. There is a phase which acts independently. It does not depend on age (though it's nature may be different in different age). This particular phase works with your likes and dislikes. I know, it doesn't sound much like a discovery. Likes and dislikes of concrete things are quite normal. You once liked a particular cuisine, garment and now you hate it or have moved on to something more satisfying. I just wondered what happens when it comes to humans. Concrete things don't have feelings, they don't reciprocate. But humans do. You start liking a person. You like everything about him/her. You talk to him/her, share with him/her, give him/her your time. Everything is going as happy as it can.

      But then, something snaps. You don't talk much anymore, suddenly some of his/her habits start annoying you. You become so distant that you start making excuses to be away. What exactly happens? Have "you" changed? Has "he/she" changed? Have the circumstances changed? If the answer is yes for first two questions, then it seems valid that maybe distances are because either of the two have changed. But how does the third part play it's role?
   
      I have seen it with my own eyes, experienced it first hand. Two of my friends were quite close to each other sometime back. Both of them were classmate since primary school. They would talk, they would share. One of them left the city. And after 7 yrs, she paid a visit in the christmas last year just for him and her other close friends. But now, they hardly talk to each other. I have known the guy for quite long, he is pretty much the same from past 2 years. I have grown attached to the girl over the year and she is same too. I don't understand what happened between them in this one year. They were always apart but were very good friends. Now, it seems just a distant memory. I asked them what had happened, had they been in a quarrel, if they had issues, but both of them replied in negative. Perfectly fine but still aren't in much contact. Maybe all those years were just a phase of life and then it ended like all other phases.

     When you like a person, you would do anything to see him/her happy. You would fulfill his/her absurd wishes, you would support him/her every time, you would find excuses to see him/her, to be with him/her. keeping her happy, makes you happy. And then, a gap comes. A void which replaces all those feelings. He/she is the same, you don't like him/her so much now. You start seeing the imperfections, they start annoying you, you start making excuses to turn away from him/her. What changed? Same him/her, same you but the only difference is now you think of him/her differently. As if, all that happened before was a dream. No two phases are same...

    Sometimes some people come close, sometimes they drift apart and no matter what you do, you can't make them stay in one place. It's just a phase of life, you can't blame him/her and you can't blame yourself. It just happened and there is nothing you can do to change it or bring it back.

The real deal
       Why is it that people have crushes? Why is that people get heavily attracted to certain people only? And why is it that people destroy themselves in order to pursue the so called love of their dream boy? One sided love, even the name stinks. And how can you call it love when it's obsession, addiction and desperation? Crying the whole night just because some lunatic doesn't think you are worthy of him. He has given you so much pain but you won't tolerate one word against him. And at times when they know you like them, even then they don't make a move. Fine, you don't like us, so for humanity at least have the heart to say no, instead of keeping us hanged in midair. And what does all this give us? Some anti-depressants to knock ourselves out, a couple of pillows to strangulate, some bed sheets to stain with tears. It gives me pain to see you like this. Doesn't that count for anything at all? Why do you suffer for a guy who wouldn't even notice you, tell us about it and make us freak out and take it to the extent when you make us realize that you don't care about the person who genuinely cares for you. Aren't you disrespecting their feelings? All this is just madness.


P.S.
1. I wanted to write something else, but ended up with this. Maybe today's haircut was a bad idea.

2. No more posts till the exams end.

3. The theories are working, I stated that telling everyone that you are going to start something and you would end up not doing it at all. Proof:- My hidden blog is still empty.

4. This particular theory doesn't apply for all. It's merely an inference drawn from experience and observation, might not be universal (I hope it isn't)

5. I don't know what kind of block is this one. I am reading the blogs I have been following but couldn't find a single topic to comment on. I came across so brilliant and inspiring posts but left the pages without commenting. (no it's not a vocabulary or grammar block)

6. Stay Blessed ^_^