What's on my mind

Random Thoughts In My Mind

The world has become an amusing place...

We need Facebook to tell others how we are feeling

We need Twitter to have an opinion

We need Instagram to enjoy our food

We need Snapchat to cherish memories

And most of all, we need an internet connection to have a life...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

You Just Had To Come Back In My life, Didn't You?

     I really wanted to post about something else. But, I think when one has started something, he/she should see to it till the end. Few seconds you'll have to wait while I go through my previous post and find out where we are so far.

just some random pic from hard disk and edited it
     Continued from here




     So, my cell phone network went dead for two solid weeks. Honestly, those were the best days of my life. No calls, no messages, no promises and life was looking so beautiful. Try doing it. Just switch off your cell phone for a day or two. Take no calls, don't exchange any messages, stop living for others and take out some time for yourself :D. The feeling was of out of this world.

And then, I received a message on Facebook

    They say people learn from their mistakes. So, what did I learn? Only to commit the same mistake in a much better way. Although I was reluctant to reply, I did (mistake number 1). You made me read a note you had dedicated to your friends and I let that soften my heart a bit (mistake number 2). You wanted everything back to normal. And after discussing about it for a long hour, I gave in (mistake number 3). You said nothing would go wrong from then on, that you would help in clearing the problems I had with others, that you would never change. And I believed you (mistake number 4 and the biggest of all). Yes everything did become normal, at least for a while. 

    I think after deciding to end any kind of relationship, people should not see each other (but that's just my thinking. And this wasn't a relationship to start with). All the feelings that were deep down within me had been revived. I knew I was going to get hurt again, yet I didn't stop. And to add to the pain, I did all kinds of stupid things to grab any opportunity of being with you (why am I smiling?). I wonder if you noticed that I was trying to get close to you. 

     I used to go for web programming classes in the evening. Now there are two centers for that but for this class, only one center was operational. There were many ways to go there, of which two were prominent ones. I always took the other one because your home came in the way. The 1st one, was shorter than this one and also warmer (it was December, and you know how things get when you travel a road flanked by trees on both sides...brrrr :s). But just to get a glimpse of you I would travel the longer path and fight the cold wind. Addiction? Obsession? The four letter word starting with L and ending with E? I don't know what it was. 

     And YOU! You could have made all the difference. Why didn't you do anything? You could have said you hated me, didn't want to talk to me, didn't want this friendship at all. Instead, you cared, you listened everything I had to say, you missed me, you never said no. The line you used to say but not anymore "tu hi toh mera dost hai". It would send electric shocks through my body. Why did you always insist on me accompanying others to see you off at the railway station? Such small things, they started creating big problems. And in the process I came to know why you won't commit, why you broke up with him and why friendship matters to you so much. But that didn't stop me from loving you. Nothing ever did and nothing ever will. On 28th December, you left for your treatment and I thought maybe the new year will bring something good. I was so wrong......

To Be Continued...

P.S.
1. Not every story has a happy ending.
2. There are still some "stupid" acts left to tell about. But being aware of the fact that you are reading this, I think I'll hold on to them for a while.
3. Stay Blessed ^_^

23 comments:

  1. :( This is sad..it seems that you really love her..I dont know what to say,but if both of u are meant to be,love itself will bring u guys together..

    All da best..now you really made me so hooked up with ur story..post it soon..I cant wait :)

    Take care S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are already together, but not through love, it's through friendship :). The problem is I am having trouble being satisfied with just friendship :-/

      You too take care
      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
  2. eagerly waiting for the next part. its so true! we often commit the same mistake even after falling miserably. that clearly shows how much love you have for her. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One doesn't stop trying even after he fails :)

      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
    2. muaah so handsome ;) xD does it annoy u that to all these ppl its a drama their hooked to? personally it makes me wanna slap them xD

      Delete
  3. I don't know why but your series of posts reminded me of my ex-bf.
    The instances like not being in love for 19 years and then meeting someone and the phone network being barred. The resemblance is uncanny.
    Do you still have to see her everyday?
    Anyway, lame as it may sound, time does heal. This too shall pass.

    Good luck with the academic stuff :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least once in a week
      It just sounds lame but is actually true :)

      Thanks
      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
  4. There are two ways people go about that four letter word.

    1. You get over it or
    2. You never get over it and use it as inspiration

    I don't want to tell you that it's going to be okay, or that you'll stop having feelings for her. Maybe you will never, maybe you can't stop loving. And that's allright. There was never meant to be a happy ending, there was never meant to be an end at all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. They say it right. If you are friends with your ex , it is either because u still got something for her or there never was anything.

    I dont know wht to say. Waiting to know the rest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, even knowing doesn't help.

      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
  6. Deja Vu this!! We all live through such experiences and mistakes and experiences and mistakes.

    Take it all with a pinch of salt, move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps you are right...

      No, you are definitely right. But moving on involves breaking all connections with her.
      Don't know if I have the strength to bear the consequences of that.

      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
  7. This is a very sad post. For the most part, I feel the same about my friends. Most of your posts are very true.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Everything will be alright. Sometimes the time is not that perfect or apt for the two to meet. Just have some patience and if your love is true, she will come back to you and you both will cherish that prosperous new life. :-) :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it's either what you said or nothing at all.
      I just want something to happen. One way or the other, want an escape from current situation.

      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete
  9. This is really sad :(
    But keep faith, everything will end up fine. But gosh, this is like Deja Vu!


    -Nil.
    www.meetnil.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Faith....yes faith.
      Thanks for the visit :)
      Stay Blessed ^_^

      Delete