What's on my mind

Random Thoughts In My Mind

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Premonitions of my 8 yr old self

     It's been just 2 years since I realized that I think quite more than a normal person. Obviously, 2 years are not enough to cover for 20 years. It has been found out that when babies are born, their brains are about one quarter developed. So, I have been thinking from the point when I wasn't even born! :o :s Scary thought. I wonder though, interesting is the thought of being able to remember the state of brain from so long back. I was lost and gradually drifting to sleep when the chain of thoughts began.

    I vaguely remember what's left of my childhood consciousness. What I can clearly recollect is the kind of premonitions I used to have which may or may not be common in every child of my age then. Now, they just seem stupid & childish.
The most profound ones I could pen down.

1. Growing up. Now and even the I wasn't scared of death or getting old. It's just that when I used to people grow old and incapable, I would think of my parents, dreading the fact of having to see them become old too and then one day leave me forever, I stupidly spent nights crying whenever this thought occurred to me. Well, the fact still remains, they "are" going to grow old and incapable. What has changed is my maturity. I now understand that that's how life works and I can't do anything to stop it. Still when my father says "I never realized when did you reach 20 yrs of age. It's like whenever I come home, you look changed than before, more adult and mature", I fight back tears (My Dad, has a sales job, so he travels in three states and comes home only once in a month) I remember one particular incident. I, my mom and dad are sitting on the master bed. My mother says to my father "My only wish is to get you in every next birth". Too innocent to understand (I was 6yrs old then) I just pop out "and what about me?". My mom said "You will get a much richer family in the next birth". I am not exaggerating but I felt devastated. No matter how puerile it seems now, back then parents were everything to me and the thought of getting away for them for money was entertaining at all. I would pray everyday to God to give me same parents in the next birth too or at least please don't kill us in this birth. I should be grateful though. Had I been not so innocent back then, I wouldn't hold the amount of love and respect that I have  for them today.

2. This one is not so serious, rather funny and much more silly
    I don't remember how did I end up thinking about it, but the prospect of getting married to a girl was a big scary one (I know, fatuous >_<). First of all, I didn't exactly know what a girl was(don't be surprised, I have spent KGI to 6th grade in boys school, and was too immature to understand the elder girls in my society. So my experiences weren't so pleasant) plus I considered them stupid (no offense, I was equally innocent). Maybe that's why I still hesitate to approach strangers particularly women. Well, that's not my problem alone. Many guys think these things before starting a conversation- how to approach her, what to talk about, will she like me, do I look stupid(as a matter of fact you do, just ogling at her and making the expression of thinking-something-very-deep) will she laugh at me what if she rejects me. Well come on, she isn't going to eat you okay, just go and get a move on. And stop Googling for such stuff :|

two are good enough for now, thanks for reading/listening, stay blessed ^_^


  1. We, girls are not that unpleasant shashank :)
    Make a little effort to know us and you'll find, we're his most beautiful creation :)

  2. Interestingly enough, I have the exact same thought ;)

    The problem lies in 'how to break the ice' :s