Caution: some of the deepest and darkest thoughts lay ahead. All you will find in this post, in this blog and in me is turmoil. Pain and suffering have become my siblings. And I am not saying I am the only one capable of feeling. What choice do I have since everyone has started keeping distances from me. All I have are my thoughts, my experiences, my pain, my joy and my happiness. So be it. At least computers never complain/demand/whine/deceive. Don't read if you are happy and don't wanna screw that up. Also don't read if you are already screwed and don't wanna get more screwed.So here goes...
I hate it when my friends spend money on expensive things and I can't. I hate it when they eat outside at every opportunity they get. I hate it when they just drain the money in beer, burn it over cigarette and then say "yaar kadki chal rahi hai". Personally, I don't know whether I would be any different if I had that much wealth, so I can't blame them. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I have all the money to eat and party everyday. I just don't have enough for applying for courses. The look on my parents' face when I ask them to pay fees for different courses that I wanna apply, totally breaks my heart. 1500 a month was more than enough. 1300 barely does the job. Still I can cut the enjoyment and bring that down to 1150. Most of my dreams now comprise of winning lotteries. Man, I would pay fees for all my classes, pay my landline-internet bill (since I am the only one using it), buy 5 tankers of petrol before government decides to raise petrol prices further.
Regret it written all over my face then I look in the mirror. If only I had studies more and landed in NIT/IIT, at least my dad won't have to pay almost 6 lakhs for my education( these private colleges, demand so high fees and don't even guarantee placement) Maybe I should start working part time. Flash, Photoshop, Maya, Aftereffects, C#, Embedded systems, ASP.NET, French, German, Gym. There is so much to do so much more to spend. there was a time when selling body parts for money was a very tempting idea (blame the movies for that). Love, friendship, happiness, joy, there is a cost for everything. Believe it or not, everything has to be bought these days. The most I can do is say no to eating outside, cigarette, beer and save money on notebooks.
I hate it when my friends spend money on expensive things and I can't. I hate it when they eat outside at every opportunity they get. I hate it when they just drain the money in beer, burn it over cigarette and then say "yaar kadki chal rahi hai". Personally, I don't know whether I would be any different if I had that much wealth, so I can't blame them. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I have all the money to eat and party everyday. I just don't have enough for applying for courses. The look on my parents' face when I ask them to pay fees for different courses that I wanna apply, totally breaks my heart. 1500 a month was more than enough. 1300 barely does the job. Still I can cut the enjoyment and bring that down to 1150. Most of my dreams now comprise of winning lotteries. Man, I would pay fees for all my classes, pay my landline-internet bill (since I am the only one using it), buy 5 tankers of petrol before government decides to raise petrol prices further.
Regret it written all over my face then I look in the mirror. If only I had studies more and landed in NIT/IIT, at least my dad won't have to pay almost 6 lakhs for my education( these private colleges, demand so high fees and don't even guarantee placement) Maybe I should start working part time. Flash, Photoshop, Maya, Aftereffects, C#, Embedded systems, ASP.NET, French, German, Gym. There is so much to do so much more to spend. there was a time when selling body parts for money was a very tempting idea (blame the movies for that). Love, friendship, happiness, joy, there is a cost for everything. Believe it or not, everything has to be bought these days. The most I can do is say no to eating outside, cigarette, beer and save money on notebooks.
Hey..man...buckle up....you are sad and depressed today..only because..you will be happy tomorrow..DO your best. Good Luck :)
ReplyDelete@kunal
ReplyDeletethanks bro :)
stay blessed ^_^
If the happy and the sad shouldn't read it .. I guess that leaves the content :P Money makes you care free but being brought up to have no value for it is what makes you care less .. Having money also means you have more responsibilities to your community .. Giving back so no one has to feel like playing robin hood w/ u .. you can be rich and guilty or poor and frustrated because I've never met a rich man/women whos given as much as he/she should or a poor man/women whos fallen in love w/ poverty .. I guess we can be content w/ what we have and unbottle frustration every once in a while
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